We process information and gain knowledge in many different ways. Visual mapping is a way to intake information and overcome obstacles with different stimuli at the same time. You can use many mediums; I prefer art paper in a ring binding. Think of it as your very own flip chart!
I use both written word in my own handwriting and print letters or words, as well as photographs, magazine cut outs and fabrics. Let your imagination take you where it needs to go. P.S. It already knows the way!
Art paper, Poster Board or even copy paper will do. You just need an empty canvas!
Tape or Glue
Start with a “Time Frame” page. Use magazine photos to start creating your goal. This will be different for everyone. Only you can see your vision in the beginning!
You’ll need a “More or Less” page. Add pics of what you’d like to have more of in your life. A separate page for Less of can be good, too.
Have an “In the Moment” page. Speak to yourself in present tense. Use “I am” or “I strive for”. Act “as if” the goal has already been met, and speak to yourself accordingly!
You’ll need a “Healing” Page. You are worth the work! Write it down, and use images that resonate with your scars from the past. For many of us, this will be your most difficult page, and it will take you the longest amount of time. Take it in stages if necessary!
Have a page dedicated to “Inner and Outer Work.” Split right down the middle. It will remind you that you need balance when you see them at the same time. Inner work would encompass relationships, behaviors you’d like to change and self love issues. Outer work would be things that affect your health, social interactions or body image.
You need an “Idling” page for the time between creation of your vision and realization of your goal. This page reflects your strategies to keep you focused on your way. Use action words that are about self care.
The “Manifest” page! One of my favorites. Use images that pack a punch for you and spur you into action! Pictures of what you want to create in your life are helpful.
The “Fear” page. None of us want to do this one, but all of us need to face our fears in order to move through them and past them. Use images that shake you up a bit, then challenge that within yourself.
The “Overcome” page lays the groundwork for what you’ll do to counteract the fear when it shows itself. Use images of beautiful things, places or people that make you feel safe.
The “When I was Ten” page. Write down the words that described you at that age. YOUR perception, not what other people told you about yourself. Use images that give examples, i.e. a sword for brave or a giggling little girl for happy. Once again, select images that resonate with you! It’s a no brainer. You’ll know them the second that you see them!
The “My Confidence Changed When (person or people) Told me I was Someone Else” page. This is important, and it’s eye opening! You’ll be surprised at some of those pivotal people along the way. There will be more than one, to be certain. Shoot for at least five.
The “I am Determined to Take Back My (traits)” page. Write down the traits that you have allowed other to take from you, and snatch them back! Use all CAPS and big fonts. These are words that you really want to catch your eye!
These ideas will get you started. The sky is the limit as to how many pages you have and what they represent. When you complete your Visual Map, date it and sign it! It’s the start of your very own masterpiece! The real art comes when your vision becomes your reality.
Feeling like you’re living with a roomate instead of a partner?
Life gets away from us fairly fast. Work, kids, commitments to others and daily stress can lead to anxiety, tension and exhaustion. We have a tendency to tune out with our partner when we’re overwhelmed. That’s the time to actually tune in!
THE KEY IS ‘WE!’
All you need is a little imagination to jump start your relationship. When your car is stalled, you get out the cables, right?
Do things together, like trying a hobby that is new to both of you, or maybe a couples massage class. Heck, ditch the class, just grab some oil and start rubbing each other! Make a mess and have some fun. What’s important is that you’re together.
If you have hobbies that are separate from each other, shift your time table. Cut the time you spend on that activity in half, with the intent of spending the time gained with your partner. If you have to carve out time for your partner, do it! Make them your priority.
There’s no “I” in Team!
Tackle problems together as a unified front. We think that events or problems end our relationships, but really it’s how we handle ourselves when things come up. When you’re working together, you’re staying together!
Here are your jumper cables:
Do one romantic or thoughtful thing for your partner. Every day.
Reminisce about your early days and recreate those feelings of when you first met. Start your sentence with “Remember when we….”
Use “we” more than “I”. Remember, you’re in this together!
With just a little effort, the two of you can reconnect and rekindle. What are you waiting for?
Attached – At least one romantic thing a day, every day.
Unattached – Put yourself in social situations at least once a week. You’ll meet new people, have fun and hone your mingling skills. You will never find your partner sitting on your couch!
Have a Fabulous Week!
The Holidays can be like a double-edged sword. So many wonderful activities and feelings of goodwill, but sometimes tinged with sadness of loved ones who are now gone; kids that have grown up and moved away, or being on your own for the holiday. Let’s counteract the blues before they start!
Top Four Reasons:
Fatigue: If you’re running around at breakneck speed, you’re going to be too pooped to pop before the holiday gets here! Pace yourself on the activities to keep your sanity and to keep the blues away.
Financial Limitations: Many people get depressed if they can’t buy all of the things that they’d like. I will say this until I’m blue in the face; “It’s just stuff!” No one who cares about you expects you to break the bank. It would be hard to enjoy a gift, knowing the hardship that it caused. Once again, set a realistic budget and stick to it! That means setting boundaries and limits with people on your list, if necessary.
Family Tension: This is a big one! Here’s the rule. Christmas is ONE DAY of the year. You can do anything for one day. Don’t drudge up the past, stay not only in the present, but in the MOMENT. If you have drama with a family member, it’s yours. Keep it to yourself. Escape for brief periods if you need to. You can get through it. Really!
Unrealistic Expectations: When we are little, Christmas is absolutely magical! That’s gets harder to re-create as we get older. If you’re holding on to memories that cannot be duplicated, you’re setting yourself up to be disappointed. Letting go of the past allows you to be open to new possibilities and create new traditions!
Set realistic goals…..Pace yourself…..Get enough rest!
If you get anxious at the holidays, make sure to spend some time alone to recharge and regroup. Don’t drink too much if you find yourself being melancholy, and be kind to yourself!
If you’re divorced, make sure to make new and separate traditions with your kids. Compromise with your ex if you can to make the transition easier.
The best way to counteract the blues?
DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE ELSE!
Tackle the holidays like you do fudge, take little bites and you can eat more!
Remember, for a stress free holiday it’s PAR for the course!
PRIORITIZE ACTION REST
is the cure for
CAN’T INVITE ANYONE OVER SYNDROME
First things first. Tackle your house in little bites.
EVERY day, you’ll spend 15 minutes on three different areas: Living Room, Kitchen and Bathroom. Set a timer and get to it!
You’ll be amazed how much you can get done in 15 minutes!
This way, these three areas are more clean than not.
After 45 minutes, your “areas” are done and you will REST for 15 minutes!
Once you’re in the habit of doing this, you can always have a clean house!
Holiday Stress Busters
Make a Budget. Stick to it.
Nothing sucks the fun out of the holidays more than increased debt! Pay cash whenever you can, and if you have to charge something, MAKE SURE THAT YOU CAN PAY IT OFF WITHIN THREE MONTHS. If you can’t, you really can’t afford it. The joy of the gift will get lost in the stress and worry that comes from the bills afterwards.
Find Magic Money!
What can you do without or pare back this month to create more cash flow? This can be a fun game all in itself!
You’re Making a List…You’re Checking it Twice!
It’s easier to stay on track and on budget when you have a list. Who, what, size, where you purchased it. etc. If you have to send packages, buy those presents first and ship them as soon as you have them! Better yet, order them online, and look for free shipping deals!
Break your food shopping list into two groups, Perishable and Non-Perishable. Buy Non-Perishable first and have it done. You’ll make two trips, but the Perishable list will be a snap because it’s small! You’ll be in and out in no time!
COMMIT TO UNTIL FINISHED:
Ten Holiday Cards a Day - you won’t get writer’s cramp and it won’t be overwhelming! Put a heartfelt message in each one. That’s where the joy of the holiday comes in! Tell people why they’re important to you!
Wrap Two Presents a Day - get all of your wrapping supplies together, decide where your “station” will be, and leave it there. You will save loads of time not having to look for the tape, scissors..etc.
Fake and Bake!
If you do holiday baking anyway, make it simple! Make up cookie dough in advance. Store in the fridge. Every evening, bake something! Get parchment paper so you don’t have to clean cookie sheets, and simply throw away your mess after each batch! Your house will smell amazing every evening, and most cookies freeze beautifully!
Don’t Get Scrooged!
Do at least one charitable thing every day. Whether you held a door, offered a kind word or donated your time or money, you have made a difference in the day of someone else. Guess what? They’ll make a difference in yours!
Give Clutter Free Presents -
they should be able to use it, wear it, or eat it!
Only commit to the things you REALLY want to do.
Capture the Moments!
At the end of each day, find something to be grateful for. Watch how quickly your heart fills. It’s better than a full stocking any day of the year.
With my Best Wishes!
We’ve all heard the phrase “you reap what you sow”.
Imagine that you are taking part of a community garden, where lots of people are responsible for a section of land.
How’s the Soil?
The first thing you’d check is whether or not the land will produce. In our lives, we require “good dirt” as well. We grow better under positive conditions. How’s your foundation?
How big is your Garden?
If you think small, that’s what you’ll end up with. If you think big, you may overshoot your skill set, but I guarantee that you’ll reach your goal. The sky is ALWAYS the limit!
What do you want to Grow?
Just as in your garden, you decide what to plant. Psst! Grab the POSITIVE seeds! Grow what you want more of in your life. If you want laughter, plant the seeds to grow more of it. The seeds that we throw out not only grow in our garden, they grow in the gardens of those around us.
How many people tend to it?
With any luck you have lots of people to help you. Family members, friends, and co-workers make up your support system. People who care about you will help you keep the weeds from taking over.
Get out the Round Up!
In any garden, you’ll have to keep the weeds at bay. These show up looking like anger, guilt, shame and fear. You get rid of them by being positive, using affirmations to cement your positive thoughts and acknowledging the things that you are thankful for. Always look at what IS working right now!
If you line all of these steps up, you’ll end up with an amazing crop. A good garden always has ABUNDANCE. In our lives, this looks like happiness, encouragement, compassion and JOY. You simply have to give some of it away.
Wishing all of you a wonderful Thanksgiving, surrounded by people that help you to shine.
We’ve all been there. Someone wants to bounce an idea off of us, whether it’s about their career, their relationship, or what direction they should take.
In this moment, what comes out of our mouth will either get them closer or further away from their goal. Here’s some tips to build them up, rather than shoot them down.
Show genuine interest in their idea. Nothing crushes a dream faster than indifference or negativity. The bottom line is we need three things from others; Acknowledgement, Affirmation, and Validation. You are their sounding board, and sometimes all that they need is to let their ideas bounce around out loud, until they get clear about it.
Encourage the Dream!
Even if you think it’s a bad idea, that means that it’s bad for YOU, not necessarily THEM. We all walk our own path, and people who love us support our ideas and encourage the possilbilities.
Don’t Curb Their Enthusiasm!
We need enthusiasm to spur us on, especially into unchartered waters. Find ways to build that through, interest, questions and prompting. Let them teach you something about their dream.
Help Them, Don’t Hinder Them!
Offer to help in any way that you can. You may have a skill that will get them closer to their goal. Chances are high that they will do the same for you when the need arises.
We All Shine a Little Brighter When We Glow Together!
We all know someone who is an over-the-top, bona fide Drama Queen.
It’s an irrational strategy for obtaining happiness. The complaining is almost constant about one thing or another; much like your favorite song. You couldn’t wait to hear it when it first came out, and then after hearing it so many times you know longer hear it at all.
There are a few things that dramatic people have in common:
React to everything emotionally
Shift moods quickly
Like to be the center of attention
Can be overtly and/or inappropriately sexual
Become involved quickly in relationships
Exaggerated emotions or inappropriate theatrics
Dramatic people often have self-fullfilled prophecies by their actions – the fear is always realized when their theatrics push people away from them.
People simply stop listening when you’re over-dramatic. People are more willing to meet your needs when you express yourself calmly.
Reasons to Stop!
It makes people tune you out.
When real drama happens, no one cares
Drama stresses you out. Elevated stress is bad for your health.
Drama breeds passive-aggressive behavior.
The drama comes from the fear of being unforgettable, or not being heard.
Handling Dramatic People
Stay OUT of their drama!
Don’t get too close or get sucked into it.
Take them in small doses.
Walk away when you feel your stress level going up.
Give them rational choices
Offer only neutral, indifferent replies – “I see.” or “That’s unfortunate.”
Positivity decreases drama.
Drama is like an argument. It needs cooperation to exist.
No Resistance = No Drama!